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Horror Movie Reviews

Autopsy Review

May 10, 2012 By Horror Palace Leave a Comment

Autopsy cover posterMovie: Autopsy
Year: 2008
Studio: A-Mark Entertainment
Director: Adam Gierasch
Language: English
Length: 84 Minutes
Sub-Genre: Body Horror

Plot: After being involved in a car accident during Mardi Gras, three men and two women are admitted into a Louisiana hospital to have their non-life-threatening injuries treated by a life-threatening hospital staff.

Review: Drafty gowns that open in the back. Bed pans. Surrounded by illness and injury. That singularly unique odor. And then there’s the food. There’s a lot to feel uneasy about when we’re in the hospital, not to mention the unthinkable scenarios, such as receiving the procedure prescribed for the patient in the bed next to you, or having a surgical sponge sewn inside you during your operation. But we choose not to think of all the countless things that could go wrong, because we have to trust total strangers to repair our bodies since we can’t do it for ourselves.

After Dark Films’ 2008 release, “Autopsy,” taps into these deep-seated fears and turns our hopefulness on its head.

If you hate movies shot to depict hand-held footage, don’t let the opening credits scare you away. “Autopsy” begins with hand-held shots during its opening credit sequence, but the rest of the movie is filmed conventionally.

Right at the start you’ll probably take notice of the lead actress, Jessica Lowndes (“Altitude,” “The Haunting of Molly Hartley”), whose screen presence is somewhat captivating, despite a decent performance that doesn’t always maintain credibility. I think it’s her eyes that draw my attention.

And though Jessica Lowndes was enough for me to keep watching the film, the reason I’m recommending that horror fans check out “Autopsy” is for a few scenes of painfully convincing gore: For instance, in one scene a character finds a piece of glass under his skin, and as he slides out this surprisingly long shard of glass, it looks absolutely real and excruciating. This scene made me squirm with discomfort.

There are other graphic scenes that depict the spilling of organs and entrails that look quite good, especially considering the modest budget for this film.

A couple of assaults on women occur that are brief, but memorable and upsetting. In one scene a naked man tackles a woman and what happens next is probably unlike anything you’ve ever seen from this scenario. In another scene, a man punches a woman in the stomach a couple of times, and there’s something about the verity of this portrayal that makes it feel like you’re watching a real-life assault, which is both scary and unsettling.

And let’s not forget a “lumbar puncture” to extract spinal fluid from a victim. Oh, and “Autopsy” also features a stabbing in a face with a hypodermic needle. Speaking of facial attacks, there’s a pummeling with an air tank that begins to approach the severity of the unforgettable fire-extinguisher-caving-in-the-face scene found in “Irreversible” (2002), the infamous French film that has the most realistic and lengthiest rape sequence I’ve ever endured.

So as for its execution of effects, “Autopsy” does fairly well, except for a terrible-looking, CGI explosion. (For some reason, CGI fire seems to be difficult to pull off.)

Overall, the casting is fine, with actors you’ll recognize, such as Michael Bowen (“Kill Bill: Vol. 1”) and Robert Patrick, who played the liquid-metal terminator in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” (1991).

One could definitely pick up on an underlying but pervasive theme of “Don’t Do Drugs,” but it’s buried enough that it doesn’t seem preachy.

“Autopsy” has at least one good jump-scare that’s unavoidable, involving an eerie scene with an impossibly skinny patient slouched over with his back toward the camera, sitting up on his bedside. I challenge you not to jump during this sequence — even though you know it’s coming.

And though the mad doctor has some understandable motives that echo those of Mr. Freeze (from the abysmal “Batman and Robin”), hopefully you didn’t subject yourself to that movie so you can enjoy this subplot for the first time in “Autopsy.”

Finally, any film that features the song “House of the Rising Sun” on its soundtrack is OK by me. So, I rate “Autopsy” a 6.5 out of 10, and I recommend renting “Autopsy” for some violent, gory effects that make it a halfway decent scary movie.

To hear horror movie reviews from Jay of the Dead and his cohorts, listen to Horror Metropolis.

[Note: This review is 1 of 8 of the Horror Metropolis 2-DVD, 8-horror movie give-away contest.]

Reviewer: Jay of the Dead
Date: 05/10/2012
Rating: 6.5/10
Recommendation: Rental
Trailer: Watch
DVD: Amazon
BluRay: N/A
Social Media: N/A

Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews Tagged With: 8 films to die for, adam gierasch, after dark horrorfest, autopsy 2008, body horror, horror film critic, horror metropolis, horror movie review, horror palace, jay of the dead, jessica lowndes, michael bowen, robert patrick

American Scream King Review

May 5, 2012 By Horror Palace 1 Comment

American Scream King Cover PosterMovie: American Scream King
Year: 2010
Studio: Brain Damage Films
Director: Joel Paul Reisig
Stars: Jordon Hodges, Joel Paul Reisig, Aranzazu Diez, Kristin Mellian
Language: English
Length: 71 Minutes
Sub-Genre: Slasher, Horror/Comedy

 

Plot: When two sleazy street hoods wind up in possession of a video camera, they decide to make it big by shooting their own horror movie. Not ones to let a lack of funds, actors, or filmmaking experience stand in their way, the psycho duo opts to simply kill young women for real and record the grisly results.

Review: When you pop in an ultra low-budget horror flick, I always get excited. You never know before the movie begins if you have a gem in your hands. Well that feeling fades immediately with American Scream King. This is yet another one that tries the “Grindhouse” feel with black lines and weird squigglies running through the film. What these filmmakers fail to realize is that the 70’s cheap video camera style doesn’t work. You need some spit shine and polish to pull off the dated look, a la Death Stop Holocaust that the Grisly Zone team reviewed on Episode 028.

Off to the story; 2 lowlifes are wanting to make a horror film, they write 3 rules on a chalkboard when coming up with a concept. They state you need “Boobs, a Beast and Blood” and the rest doesn’t matter. While contemplating the effects portion they realize they have no idea what they are doing, so they concoct their ultimate plan of just killing the abductees, in effect, needing no special effects. What transpires is a group of women tied up in a basement (most topless or each one will become topless) while the 2 high school dropouts play little “games” with them.

Because American Scream King is a short movie, thank god, you still have to sit through the 2 leads “trying” to be demented, all the while making a “mock” on the genre I so dearly love. It’s amazing to me that filmmakers enter into the horror genre, have no idea how to make a movie, and can pass this off to us (horror fans) knowing that we will buy them. And we do, we love horror and support indies, but we have got to draw a line somewhere. Even more unbelievable and astonishing is that the writer/director/actor Joel Paul Reisig has his own “How-to Film School” at Be Your Own Hollywood. If you want to produce low-grade schlock that no one will like, and ruin your career, take the course!

Lets keep the ripping going on American Scream King, horrible audio quality, the screaming peaks and distorts making it unbearable, atrocious acting all around, and this one I am adding a “Stupid” factor of a 10. You may be thinking, I am coming in with the lowest possible overall score of a 1, but I always give credit where credit is due; there is one part with a drill that was actually passable (at least they did a little work there), and some of the girls were easy on the eyes.

American Scream King found distribution in February of this year and is available on DVD if you want to see how bad a horror film can be. After the review I shouldn’t have to say it but avoid American Scream King at all cost. It is not worth even a one-time rent.

Reviewer: BillChete
Date: 05/05/2012
Rating: 2/10
Recommendation: Avoid
Trailer: Watch
DVD: Red Tag Market
BluRay: N/A
Social Media: Facebook

Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews Tagged With: american, aranzazu, brain, comedy, damage, diez, film, films, grindhouse, hodges, hollywood, joel, jordon, king, kristin, mellian, paul, reisig, school, Scream, slasher

Season In Hell Film Review

April 22, 2012 By Horror Palace Leave a Comment

Movie:  Season in Hell: Evil Farmhouse Torture

Year:  2004

Studio:  World Wide Multi Media/ Wicked Lamb Pictures

Written, Directed, and Edited by Elliot Passantino

Stars:  George Prekel, Carl Restivo, Kevin Healy, Elloit Passantino

Language:  English

Running Time:  75 minutes

The Eastern part of the United States has fallen under terrorist attack.  The attack left the US in an apocalyptic state.  George and Carl have decided to take flight.  While the friends are traveling, they decide to stop for supplies at a creepy farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.  Marbus Hiram, who is willing to help the traveling friends, inhabits the creepy farmhouse.  The farmhouse basement is full of women who worship him, and think that he is the Messiah.  The farmhouse is a gateway to Hell, and is full of torture and mayhem.

I was curious about this film, when I first got the opportunity to review it.  Let me tell you…this film is 75 minutes of mind-boggling torture, and I don’t mean that in a good way.  The opening sequence of this film completely took me out of the entire film.  It was chocked full of poor camera movements, and jumped all over the place.  As the film progressed, it didn’t get much better.

With subpar acting, and off-the-wall camera effects that reminded me of a late 80’s or early 90’s music video, I felt like I needed to be on acid to catch the point of this film.  The film had the potential to be violent and gritty, but just didn’t deliver.  There was a few scenes the had some decent gore,  but those kill scenes were never really shown…just glimpses of the killing, which again is something that took me out of the film.  I wanted to see the kills, and the fear on the victim’s faces…didn’t deliver.

The sound effects and score were ever so prevalent throughout the film…to say the least.  There were scenes that appeared to be a constant music video with no purpose but to serve as filler.  I just didn’t get the feeling of dread or suspense or fear.

I will give the director credit for one thing…he made a film…just not a good film.  To me this film had no sense of direction and jumped from place to place.  The cinematography seems to be non-existent.  The overall psychedelic nature of the film didn’t appeal to me.  Do yourself a favor, and stay away from “Season in Hell”.

This movie is a total avoid, 1 out of 10.  AVOID, AVOID, AVOID!!!

Be sure to check out Land of the Creeps with myself and Gregamortis, and help us KEEP HORROR ALIVE!!!!!!

 

Haddonfield Hatchet,  co-host Land of the Creeps

Land of the Creeps on Twitter

Haddonfield Hatchet on Twitter

 

 

 

Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews

The Cabin In The Woods Review

April 21, 2012 By Horror Palace 1 Comment

[amzn_product_inline asin=’B008WB33LW’]

Plot: Five college-age men and women travel to a cabin in the woods for a weekend getaway, but they’re being watched and stalked by several, evil onlookers who seek their demise.

Review: I have tried to stop watching trailers altogether precisely because of movies like “The Cabin in the Woods.” You should go into some movies blind, with no foreknowledge about them whatsoever. “The Cabin in the Woods” is one of those movies.

So, if you haven’t seen the previews yet, then keep yourself in the dark. You can trust this review not to spoil any surprises.

Though it’s not really a horror comedy, this movie’s humorous taglines give you a sense of the attitudes of the writers behind this film. There are funny moments in this movie, but the most fitting tagline for “The Cabin in the Woods” is this one: “You think you know the story.”

Yeah, you think you know the story (but trust me, you don’t), because the writers referred to above were producer Joss Whedon and director Drew Goddard. The latter also wrote “Cloverfield” (2008) and was a contributor on the TV series “Lost,” from 2005 to 2008.

So, after realizing that Whedon and Goddard were in charge of this project, and after reading those comedic taglines, you know this isn’t going to be your everyday horror film. And it’s not.

At first, “The Cabin in the Woods” seems like it’s going to be a conventional zombie flick with some extra, unconventional characters who don’t seem to be a part of the movie. But there’s much more to it.

Most horror fans will spend the first half of this movie asking themselves, “What the hell?” and thinking it’s too tame and not hard-core enough to be true horror. That’s how I felt. But like most horror movies, it gets progressively more extreme and more bloody, and it ups the ante to a ridiculous degree.

Even so, “The Cabin in the Woods” is still very entertaining for at least a viewing. At one point in the film, the bloodshed approaches “Dead Alive” (1992) levels, except not as creatively and this movie uses some sketchy-looking CGI bloodletting, instead of practical effects.

I suspect that the most traditional fans will ultimately disapprove of the liberties and twists this movie takes with the horror genre. In other words, these screenwriters take classic horror elements (and characters) and present them in a satirical way that I can only describe as “playful,” or perhaps the British word “cheeky” fits even better.

If you decide to see this movie, here is a few spoiler-free list that you should watch for: The presentation of the film’s title may be the most obnoxious, and therefore, amusing film title presentation I’ve ever seen. I think the filmmakers were riffing on the jump scare. “The Cabin in the Woods” simultaneously celebrates and ridicules the conventions of the horror genre, somewhat like we’ve seen in the “Scream” franchise. And if you’re looking at the subtext, the writers seem to be commenting on how we justify and rationalize our enjoyment of watching unintelligent people get slaughtered by depraved maniacs or monsters.

The five, archetypal horror victims are all likable and attractive or funny. You’ll recognize some of the actors right away, such as Chris Hemsworth (“A Perfect Getaway,” “Thor”) and Richard Jenkins (“Let Me In,” “Step Brothers”). And there’s a bit of nudity, sensual dancing and, of course, a good-looking blonde making out with a stuffed wolf’s head.

If you think I’ve spent this review telling you what this movie’s not, instead of what it is, you’re right. As I wrote initially, “The Cabin in the Woods” is the kind of film whose enjoyment is delivered to its audience through its weird revelations. Beyond that, I can’t see this movie having nearly as much value upon repeated viewings. Therefore, my final rating is a 7, and I’m recommending it only as a Rental, even though I think the die-hard horror fans will probably scoff at this bizarre but loving tribute to their beloved genre.

By the way, speaking of movie ads, the previews that precede “The Cabin in the Woods” include a promising-looking trailer for “Chernobyl Diaries,” which is scheduled for release on May 25, 2012. Expect another Jay of the Dead review for that one. I’m sold.

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Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews, Zombie Tagged With: 2012, blood, chris hemsworth, drew goddard, horror, jay of the dead, joss whedon, richard jenkins, satire, the cabin in the woods, thriller, twist

The Brood Review

April 13, 2012 By Horror Palace Leave a Comment

(We thought this would make a nice companion piece for The Cutting Room’s Episode 007, where we discuss the works of Cronenberg)

David Cronenberg’s 1979 film THE BROOD revolves around a new-agey, experimental psychotherapy compound run by one Dr. Hal Raglan, brilliantly played by Oliver Reed. By all outward appearances, the psychiatric compound looks like an upscale Poconos Mountain ski chalet. Aside from the creepy Doctor and a handful of his staff, the facility is filled with a collection of weird sycophant psycho-therapy patients whose adoration of Dr. Raglan and his experimental methods, called Psychoplasmics, is disturbing, to say the least, giving the whole setting a cult-like aura.

The details of Raglan’s Psychoplasmics are intentionally kept vague throughout most of the film, but we come to understand that it involves something about the externalization of inner rage in an effort to exorcise inner demons and Freudian trauma. The methods are also vague, but role-playing with the Doctor himself evidently plays heavily into it. This is evidenced in a brilliant opening scene with one of Raglan’s psychically wounded sycophants.

One of the most receptive patients at the compound is Nola Carveth, a woman who is kept under tight wraps by Raglan, presumably because of her positive reaction to the treatments and because she’ll soon be used as a case study for Ragan’s ground breaking work, proving the efficacy of the treatments.

Nola’s ex-husband, Frank, is kept at arm’s length from Nola because part of the reason that Nola sought treatment in the first place was apparent trouble in their marriage. Their daughter, Candice, is caught somewhere in the middle of this, visiting the semi-isolated Nola periodically.

When Frank finds evidence of physical abuse on his daughter he confronts Raglan, questions his methods, and threatens legal action to disallow future mother-daughter visits.

This triggers a chain of events that includes the mysterious dispatching of strange dwarf-like, bellybutton-less, evil mutant children dressed in brightly colored snow suits. These troll-like beings look terrifyingly similar to Candice… and they proceed to kill both of Nola’s parents, Candice’s teacher, and kidnap Candice herself.

Meanwhile, Frank does some investigating and we come to understand with him that Psychoplasmics has grotesque side-effects that take the form of physical deformities, which are evidently the outward manifestation of half-successful treatments.

At length, Frank’s investigations lead him eventually to Nola herself, and culminates in a truly horrifying climactic scene so grotesque that it needs to be seen to be believed.

I hate to retreat into the safety of hyperbole, but it’s a scene unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It’s not often we see something truly unique in a movie, especially a b-movie like this one from Cronenberg, but here, that’s exactly what we have.

The film is certainly not without its flaws. Some of the acting is a bit hollow. The dialogue is leaden in areas and if you’re not in the right mood, the Olympic team of snow-suited mini-killers could strike an unintentional funny bone. But the flaws are more than balanced out by many tightly directed scenes and a premise that is fiercely original in its conception.

THE BROOD is an early effort from David Cronenberg, who would go on to direct the cult classics THE FLY and VIDEODROME and eventually the incomparably sublime SPIDER, HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, and EASTERN PROMISES. I’ve been a fan of his for a long time and he gets my respect and loyalty because I know whatever he does will be the singular vision of a passionate individual and not that of a hack artist cashing in on latest trends. He mines deeply personal territory in his films and the driving theme in THE BROOD is a primal fear of the powers of the opposite sex and the terrifying machinations of the female gender. Not your typical Hollywood fare.

It’s because of his courage and willingness to examine personal compulsion and fears that make Cronenberg’s work, even the films that aren’t quite successful, always unique and fascinating to watch.

As a final note, and perhaps most pertinent to the Horror Jungle forum, Cronenberg approaches his violence and gore in a celebratory, almost gleeful way, reveling in the details and horrors of the human body when transfigured by technology, here specifically, by the technology of psycho-babble. But he never goes too far overboard. He seems to have an innate sense of when a bucket of blood ceases to be horrifying and when it just becomes a joke. He plays with that line, but knows when not to go too far. In other words, he has a respect for the power that cinematic gore can wield, but uses it as a device to reinforce his psychological horror.

THE BROOD is easily a four star film.

Filed Under: Horror Movie Reviews Tagged With: brood, Cronenberg, david, horror, joe, jungle, mummy, review, The, written

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